I don't even know where to start.

Why does it hurt so bad when it seems MY fault?

" u know u should watch what u say."
" think before u speak"
"to u it may be fine but not to others"
"for no reasons, things are misunderstood"

i was chatting with someone whom i always joke around with when it seems that i said something wrong. I thought i was joking because we were but clearly to him it wasnn't. I'm sorry about that man. I didn't mean it in anyway. Seriously.

People keep saying this to me but what went through my mind was, how come it doesn't apply to themselves when to me, sometimes they do say the wrong things. To me especially. I never did tegur them because i didn't want to seem ngade ngade which i also got from some people. It just makes me sad that to them whatever i say is not important or hurtful but what they say is not. I wanted so bad to tell him all this but i figured its not important. Again.

Sincerely, I'm Sorry.

You know what? I think i'm just gonna shut up and won't talk unless they do. I hate being alone ( which im already am, always )but what can i do. People just don't like me. I guess its my bad that im such a bitch and a i suck at having people called "friends".

"Friends" of 8 years calls me a snob and a bimbo.

UNFORTUNATELY for the world u have the looks.

I just laughed it off but inside i was hurting so bad that after something happened i walked off for a while for a smoke and a good cry.

I have never did say anything. I always keep things to myself and i never tell them how i felt all this years because that will just end up they ganging up on me. Even if i do voice out, to them its not important or they just pretend they don't hear a thing and they'll go " I see".

I had some stupid moments years ago . Some are true but some are just fitnah. But no one ever believed me.

Im tired. Im tired of having to pretend everyday ans smile when im not.
Im just so tired.