He doesn't care.
If he does.
He would have done something by now.
He would be here talking things out with me right now.
But no. He never did anyway. I want so much for this to work. But he just won't do anything.
He doesn't want to change at all.

I still do love him.
And yes i hate him.
The hatred i have towards him is so big that i even dare to curse him non stop.

Where the fuck is he.
Gosh i hate u.
I fucking hate u for everything u have done to me.
I fucking hate u for everything that u have not done for me.

What do you take me for?
I've put everything into this relationship and what the fuck did i ever get from you?
I've given you lots of chances.
I gave you my trust. & i trusted you when you said you would change.

DID YOU?
NO YOU NEVER DID YOU JERK!!!!!

I hate you!
Why won't you change!!!!

you went overboard!

u da melampau!
tak semestinye i diam u leh continue uat i cam ni!
enough is enough!!!

i fucking hate u dammit!

Yesterday i sat down and didn't say a word.
Tengah fikiran.
Da macam batu tak bergerak langsung.
Kept crying.

I just felt so hopeless.
Helpless too.

Fuck.
When will this end?

anyways.
Love FINALLY brought me to dine at Fish & Co!
Loving it!

But now hes off to Dbl O to celebrate Nazim's birthday. - His abg sedare.
Now i'm all alone here.
Sudin was nice enough to lent me his lappy or else i'll cry of boredoom.

Tomorrow i'll have to go to 3 interviews.
12.30pm , 1pm & 2.30pm.
How nice.

& oh ya.
I won't be online that much since my dearest computer is still left in that fucking house.
So if i ever have a chance, i'll blog.

I'm gonna miss my BABY ( its my cat; Lely )
If those asshole ever throw or mistreat my cat.
i'll give them HELL.

Finally.
I'm out of that house.

Yep.
Ku dah kene halau dari rumah tu.
But what hurts me the most was that my own mother didn't say anything nice & went along with her dear husband.
Fuck them.

I totally hate my mum & i'll kill that asshole soon.
I feel so hopeless right now.

Now im putting up ( temporary ) at a friend's house.
& I feel so embarrased about it.

How worst can my life get huh?
This sucks.

& to top it all.
Love had to make me feel worst by putting the blame on me indirectly until i had to scream at him.
Fuck all this.

From now on.

KU TAKDE MAK.
TAKDE BAPAK TIRI- i never even accepted that asshole in the first place.

Only certain people would know where the fuck i'm putting at.
I don't want anyone else to know.
To those who knew, i'll skin u alive if u ever open your freaking mouth.

I need to think of what I'm gonna do with my life right now.
I need a job. BAdly.

& Dad. Please find a house fast so that me u n abg can stay together. Like Finally.

And.

I'm pissed.
Down right pissed.

Why the fuck did you have to work on public holidays?!
& you don't even get double pay for it!

& YOU!
Better stop asking mw stupid question cos ure getting on my very last nerve.
Ask again & i swear i'll run you over with daddy's truck.
NOT.

Just stop asking.

Hola people!
I just came back from MOS & right now i'm calling love to wake him up for work.

I didn't really had fun just now as it was jam packed with earthlings & as usual it was only me & Dewey ( & Zhuri too! )
Dewey was in his own world so i was practically left alone while these two goons went around looking for ladies.

So i entertain myself to the music & danced my legs off!
Well, not really. Hahs.

So yeah Dan & Ken was there too.
So was Aniqah, Zul ( my primary school girlfren's brother/cuz ) & some of their peeps.
And oh one of my favourite bouncers was on MC so i didn't see him at all.
But Shah ( i think that was his name ) was on duty.
Saw him while waiting to collect my bag.

Overall.
MOS sucks just now
But its ok.
Not too bad.

Now i'm not sleepy but having a very bad headache due to intoxication.
So tell me what should i do huh?

I'm hungry tho.

Hi.
I'm Khaty.
I have a stepfather and his name is Azhari.

He is a idiotic fucking asshole mother fucker jantan sundal kepala buto sial suar anak haram jerk.
& hes not dead yet.
So i hope this mothe fucking stupid idiotic annoying jerk would just die.

Thank you.

I can't sleep.
Haiz..

Today went out with love to catch " What Happens in Vegas "
It was hilarious & fun to watch.
Romantic too.
We were laughing our ass off i tell ya!

Then head down to Mustafa Centre to buy cat food & love bought me Ferrero Rocher!
Then we had a fight.
Why do sweet things ends with pain all the time??!!
Dammit.

Then i was locked out of the house as usual.
So had to wait around 30 mins before the people finally let me in.

Mother fucker.

It sucks i tell ya.
Now im hopelessly useless as im jobless & bored to death doing nothing but sleep my ass of.
I gotta go for my bike pract soon.
I wanna get my license before my birthday please.

Dammit.
There's no one online.

Am i the only one whos not in school & jobless?
Wow.

I am useless.

Ok.
Make this a make up entry for yesterday ( 11th May 2008 ) since i've just installed the net.

11th May 2008

Yes.
You sucked big time on this day.
It was suppose to be a lovely & happy day for us.
But nooooo..
u had to make me cry.
its ok.
idiot.

Happy 19th months to you love!

* i still can't update pics here using this comp of mine.
someone help me clear the viruses away please.
Thank you

& oh.

I bought a GUESS handbag for dear mother for Mother's Day.

How weird that i really wanted a GUESS handbag & wallet for myself but didn't get any since like forever?

Huh?
I want YOU to get it for me.
a nice,expensive gorgeous one please.

Thank you love.
I'm still waiting for it.

Lapar lar.

Hey hey!
Yeah it's been weeks since i blogged.
That's cos i'm no longer working and i don't ( didn't ) have internet access at home.

Well now i do.
Need it anyway.

So yeah.
Past few days has been rather boring and being very broke.
I didn't go out much.
Which i really wanna do especially with love.

So i've been a good girl and laze around at home & Abg Joe's crib.

Nah.
I did went out at night tho.

Thursday - Dbl O with love,man,one-of-his-guyfren,zhuri,carrot & dewey.
We continued the night/morning partay-ing away at MOS.

Saturday - MOS.
With some peeps who left at 3 am leaving me alone.
Lucky for me.
Zhuri decided to come.
& i really found myself making friends with some i-wouldn't-call-that-weird-people.
haha
get what i mean?
No?

NVM.

Love was at Zouk with his station mates. & he bumped into Dewey.
Wait.
Did i mention that Dewey dumped me at the very last minute?
He changed the bloody plan and went to Zouk w/out telling me.
Fuck you Dewey.

Haha.
So Zhuri sent me to the carpark where love was waiting for me.
So sweet of him to actually fetch me.

- i find it weird tho -

Morning was our day.
But he totally messed it up.

Cry cry cry.

I hate/love u.