KHATY
Heres the thing. Whatever written here is just my pea's worth of opinion so keep your profanities to yoursefl because i
do not need your validation to live.
Peace Yaw :)
YOURS TRULY
BITCHY FREAK.
TAGBOARD
hear your voice.
Thank you.
AFFILIATES
the big big world.
Naqq
MasIdayu
ZulfiAweng
Fatin
DianaKBPS
Katek
HaniBaiduri
KBPS Lily
friend
friend
friend
friend
friend
REMINISCENCE
flashbacks.
CREDITS
spontaneous applause.
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Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Title :
Time : 2:08 PM Today is my last day. So i won't be online that much. They terminated me. Haha. I suck. & how do u feel when your boifee wants to spend time with his friends than you on public holiday? Me? I don't know. |
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Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Title :
Time : 4:35 PM I wanna get a new job!! I'm so fucking pissed!!! They don't even tell me anything about the medical leaves!!. So what? Kalau ku sakit dah nak mampos kat tetap nak potong gaji ku??!! Fuck la!! 3 fucking days sia they cut!!! fuckfuckfuckfuck!!! I've only used up 3 days this month!! Fuck be fucking reasonable!! Nabei!!! Hate that mother fucking old hag IRENE. Go fuck yourself old lady. Fuck yourself. Bodoh. |
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Title :
Time : 2:21 PM Cravings for Fish & CO. Slept in the meeting room again. Wat a life. Babygirl, mane kau? Tsk. Labels: my gf is missing =( |
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Title : drunkkkkkeed
Time : 8:41 AM  Remember i told u guys that i will type out a long post on our night at MOS ( Ministry Of Sound )? Well here it is. I came home from work & straight went to sleep. BIG MISTAKE. If i didn't sleep i would not have been late to meet up with Dewey & we wouldnt have to pay $20 plus! My bad. & so cabbed down to clarke quay,queue up cursing every single vulgarities i could think of; i was so sad & mad at myself! Dewey called Naq to ask her where the hell she is & she invited us to join her at the bridge. Drinking. Here where it ALL started. We talked & joke about. I was starving so my dear sweet Dewey went to 7/11 to get sandwiches to fill up my tummy as i don't wanna get drunk. I was observing Naq as she pour a cup or two of Vodka Absolute- just a lil bit of it. & as she gulp it down her throat, i could see the change in her face. But i didn't think much about it. But knowing that shes not a strong drinker, i SHOULD HAVE KNOWN! All of us were talking about bike practical when i suddenly realise Naq was keeping quite- main angin katekan. BIG MISTAKE NAQ! Me : Oi kau ok tak? Naq : * just nods her head Ayunn : Byy u ok tak? Jgn ikut kan. Me: Ah. Jgn Main angin. Bukak mate! Dewey: Naq! Don't keep quite! Talk & u'll be ok! Haha..we were soooo wrong. We kept talking to her but she just wouldn't open her god damn eyes! Then she complain about headache etc...haha..it was hilarious. But scary shit la cos when she stand i really thought shes gonna fall off the bridge with that kind dizzy wuzzy head. She could hardly stand! So she tried to lie down lots of time. All of us were telling her not to. She was swinging her head here & there. Haha. Da mcm rolly polly. Ayunn: Khaty, die nak gi toilet. Me: Ohk. Yom! So i walked her to the toilet,holding her tightly. I was so scared she would just collapse on the floor. But she vomitted right before we took the stairs down. & my shoes got a lil good wash of vomit. Thanks Naq! She ran to the toilet!! Amazingly!! i was shocked! Haha..she really needed to vomit thats y. After all that. We headed to MOs. finally. When we all thought she was ok, Shes not!!!!! She suddenly just collapse & tore her new reef slippers. We kinda ask/beg her to pretend thats she sober while entering & once inside. She was on the floor. Haha..Brought her to smoove cos shes not the trance type. YOU CANT SHUFFLE LA NAQ!!! Ayunn & I had to hold her & dance; like a sandwiche. - Imagine sendiri la. satu depan.satu blakang. as she kept falling everywhere & wouldn't open her eyes! Dan came to join us & when i went to have a smoke in the smoking room, i asked Dewey to take care of her & Ayunn for 5 mins. 5 MINS!!! When i came back, Ayunn was gone. Everyone of us were looking for him! I was like " how could he just leave Naq like this?" Padahal. Ayunn dalam toilet. TIDO LA!!! YUP! AYUNN WAS DRUNK TOO!! Thats the weirdest part ever. He looked so ok & was taking care of Naq & suddenly hes drunk & sleeping in the toilet. Wat the hell. Ahahahahah. While dancing. Me & Dewey really had to on hold her. Then,someone tap me on the shoulder. It was Dan. Dan: Who did u came with? ME: * pointing to the ppl i came with Dan: Why arent u at Trance? Me: Cos i have to take care of DRunkked Naq?! He looked & stated laughing out loud! haha.i gotta agree with him thou. Suddenly Dewey shouted my name. I turned around to find Naq flat on the floor! Haha..kelam kabut kita angkat die sampai terantuk kepale! Gave up. We made her sit at the smoking room. I went to look for Ramija. Which was good cause she slapped Naq hard on the face. She was mad. Very. OOps. After a long while. NAq was a lil bit ok. BUT ALL OF THEM WENT MISSING!!! I WAS ALONE!! nasib ade Dan! lau tak da mcm budak bodoh sorg2 kat MOS. ** to be continued Labels: 25th MOS |
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Monday, April 28, 2008
Title :
Time : 9:07 AM Hola people! i've got tonnes to update! I mean lots! But too bad i dun have pictures for them. ( i so need a camera ! ) Boo-hoo~ Nevertheless, i'll just rattle on & u guys just try to create the pictures in your head yar? Well here goes. I'm gotta go date by date so as not to confuse u - well more likely confuse myself. 20th April 2008. As per stated in the previous entry, i've waited for him for HOURS. Which pissed me off further not to mention the hurt & thought of just murdering him! Well it kinda pay off cos we kinda got back together. Well at least thats what i thought. I repeat. I thought. Not feel. Yup it felt weird & painful actually. I felt that someone was beginning to mellow down. Beginning to really " ya ya wadever. da tkde rase pape agi" kinda tingy. I'm not sure if it was me or him. But that feeling was strong. & i was scared. Days pass by. He still hurting me. But i'm too afraid to voice out. Afraid we'll get into a argument again. Hes a fucking egoistic guy who tak akan terima kesalahan nya. Tapi akan sedar biler da terantuk. FUCK. But now im still hoping it'll get better. & that he change. 25th April 2008 MOS NITE. I shall narrate this in one whole entry later. Its hillarious. Well at least for me! Fuck you if you think its not! Ahahahahahaha. 26th April 2008 I woke up at Abg Joe's house just to find myself having to help Kak Nora cook for Salleh's Kenduri Cukur Rambut anak laki nya. ( baby son ). It was fun i tell ya! Yeah a lil out of shaped paru here & there. Fat & thick 'kacang panjang' which i called sayur hijau bodoh cos i had no idea what its called before hand. Dear was nagging at me all the way to do it right and really learn how to cook. & i dragged him into helping me do the cutting as well. I know. Smart move huh? Lol I was mumbling to myself that i wanted ice-cream so bad. & was like " mane seh apek ice-cream ni! Ayg i nak ice-cream la. Belikan McFlurry oREOSundae pleassseeeeeee...." when he stated ringing his bell! Woah talk bout nick of the time. I'll bet when you think u're gonna die & wish to have your last ice-cream this apek will be there ready for you! ---To those perverts out there. THAT IS NOT WHAT I MEANT!! Cook till 9pm & we got ready to go to Tanglin cos the Reborns are having meeting. Of all places TANGLIN?? So i sat down with some of the ladies whom im not close with & stare into space. They are the Hot Kakak2 ok. & I'm still a kid. ok a 19 year only. im the youngest! apart from Abg Joe's daughter Shila. WENT FOR SUPPER at Bedok & realise i have a swollen back. talk,talk,eat,eat. then headed for home pack ayg's uniform & slept at Abg Joe's house while the rest gamble in the living room. Urgh. Oh nangis jap. Haha.Slept very late K.. 27th April 2008 11am. woken up by Kak Nora ask me to help her cook again. I went " HUH!! I thought we're done??" Salleh ckp tk cukup!! SO i had to do everything alone & i had to rush. I could hardly open my eyes. After we're done. I had my lunch & slept. Woke up,watch TV, shower then i realise the kitchen was a total mess. Kak Nora had not slept so i let her sleep. I tried my best to clean up almost everything & by the time i got home. I was beat. Talk on the phone with dear for awhile & went to sleep. & here i am. WORK. Labels: hEFTY |
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Thursday, April 24, 2008
Title : Unhealthy
Time : 11:10 AM Yeah. It says it all. I've been falling sick on & off. 24 hrs. Its either I'm sleepy or tired. Fever. & not to forget getting drunk. I was almost dead drunk last Saturday. hell yeah it wasn't a pretty side of me. & oh. I've not ate a single thing for 1 week ( or more ) already. just no appetite at all. slept thru my lunch time every single day. i swear i felt like dying. & I FELT I COULD JUST MURDER SOMEONE. I really felt like shit. I felt that i didn't deserve to be treated this way. I felt that, enough is enough. But i knew i couldn't lie to myself that I'm craving for you. I was treated with disrespect & was given so much hurt anyone could ever bear. I stood with head held up high to those whom im embarrased to face. I was tortured mentally & emotionally. I kept wishing this would end fast. I kept wishing that this would not stop. Instead it got longer. The nights of praying and begging didn't matter to you. Every single day & night i waited for your calls/messages. But no. I got nothing but despair. Even when i was begging you on the phone wailing my heart out. You kept cursing me. & putting the blame on me. We both know it wasn't me. IT WAS JUST YOU. You & your filthy reasons. Your wants. Your needs. It was always about you. And it still is till now. I hated you so much. But i love you just as much. I decided to put aside my ego & went looking for you. I felt like a dog. & yes that is how u treated me. I waited hours for you alone. With the money i have. I can bearly do anything to keep myself strong. U ignored me. My calls. Rintihan hati ku. Tangisan ku. Theres so much i want to let out. BUt im not even strong enough to think of all that shit u've done. It brings sadness to me. N im getting bored with all this. I don't know why i'm still holding on. i don't know why i'm willing to go on my knees for a low life like you. But i know one day. U'll get your desserts. MArk my words. /i'm not sure how many girls u've contacted. /i'm not sure how many seconds of your life u've gambled away. /i'm not sure if u've met all those ladies out there. /i'm not sure if i even wanna know. Labels: Unhealthy |
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Monday, April 21, 2008
Title : Patience; till when?
Time : 3:43 PM People kept telling me. " Sabar Khaty. Sabar. Ini semua dugaan." What the hell?? |
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Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Title : for u
Time : 3:22 PM If a girl cries in front ofyou, itmeans that she couldn't take itanymore... If you take her hand, she would staywith you for the rest of your life; ifyou let her go, she couldn't go backto being herself anymore... A girl wont cry easily, Except infront of the person who she love themost, she becomes weak.. A girl wont cry easily, only when sheloves you the most, she put down herego. Guys, if a girl cries bcoz of youplease hold her hands firmly, she'sthe one who would stay with you forthe rest of your life. Guys, if a girl cries bcoz of you,please dont give her up, maybe bcoz ofyour decision, you ruin her life. When she cry rite in front of you,when she cry bcoz of you, Look intoher eyes, Can u see n feel the pain nhurt she's feeling? Think.... Which other girl have cried wif puresincerity, Infront of you, And bcoz ofyou? She cry not because she is weak, Shecry not bcoz she wan sympathy or pity,She cry, Because crying silently is nolonger possible, the pain, hurt, nagony have become too big a burden tobe kept inside... Think about it... If a girl cry her heart out 2 you, Andall because of you, Its time to lookback on wat u have done, Only you willknow the answer to it. Ayg..Well i got this from the bulletins.Its not original from me, i know.But it reflects on us.u know how much i love u.& i'm tired oh having to go thru this over & over again.I dun want this at all.But if u refuse n stubbornly want ur way.It wont work at all.& stop lying to me. Right now i dont trust u at all.Who knows what u've done behind me. But i still love u so much.& even tho i'm the one who made this decision.I miss u so much. But i cant take it nimore.u just refuse to face the facts.& im always the one to be blamed. especially when i mengamok.do u think its fair for me? U know how hurt i feel?I cant believe u would do those things to me.& the things that u've done.u keep doing them over & over agn. I kept asking myself.Am i wrong to love u?Am i wrong o help u?Am i wrong to guide u?Mmg diri i sendiri tk btol.But im trying my very best to change. Not only for u. Its for us.For myself. Why.?Knape u sanggup sakitkan hati i ataupun ketepikan i untuk dapatkan pe yang YOU nak? My family does that to me.I didnt expect u would to. If u think i'm selfish when it comes to ur future. U're wrong...I'm always advising u.i sanggup ketepikan semuanye untuk u.im always doing things for ur own good.U yang untung.Bukan i. I'm proud to have a guy who is ambitious.Who is hardworking.But there're always a limit to everything. including my patience.U slalu cakap i dulu lain skrg lain.have u asked urself that?Have u asked why im like dat? I still love u like how i use to fall in love with u.Its still strong.But i lost my trust in u. I hate u.Yet i love u. Yes ive said a million times that im tired.& yes i am.VERY.bUT i put that aside cause i love u so much.If only u treat me better.if only u stop being ego. I dunno what else to say or do to assure u that im sincere being with u.If i dun, i wouldnt give a damn with what u do in ur life. Ive respected u. have u respected me as a gerl?Im rude to u i know.But its ur job to tegur.- the right way.Not raising ur voice on me.u dun like it when i raise my voice on u.its the same. we have to compromise. ALOT.ive done my share.when is ur turn?i dun want to be the one leading.u're the guy so u have to lead but in the right responsible way. am i always asking alot from u?am i?i keep asking myself that.yes.i want ur attention.Only u.no one else.& its simple. if breaking up is the solution t all this.i've nth else to say cos im the one who initiate it. Will u stop me?Will u? please. Please.Don't u love me? * I LOVE U MOHD ANWAR *i really do |
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Title : Pretence
Time : 10:49 AM  What the hell? Perfect pic******************************** Dun u just hate it when people pretend? It's either they're pretending to be someone they're not or that they actually CARE for u.? Haha..i happen to be surrounded by these kinda people. But i don't deny that everyone does sometimes. Including me,- usually some did for certain reasons;stupid or not. See. Ku tak tau malu kan kan kan.?? Whatever. Confirm pernah blajar pasal "peer pressure-trying to fit in " or wanna be as cool as some people that they idolise. U cant blame anyone for that. Its life. But it is kinda irritating don't u think? I do. Weird. Btw people! I'm losing weight, yet again. Been skipping meals lately. "Ala org tengah patah hati katekan" Wat the hell. & yup I'm at work and I'm blogging. If u're my Boss. Sack me. LAME. Btw i received a comment at frienster by this FRIEND/ex-colleague of mine whom I TRUSTED & LOVED. - ( observe the past tense ) Its about needing a friend,I'm there yadayadayada.. HAte it that i miss her. But i just can't simply forgive her. Will blog about it soon. No mood. P.S Don't ever betray your friends. And even if u find NEW friends. Don't forget the OLd ones. u'll never know how painful it is. & when they " tegur " , don't deny cause EVeryone sees it. |
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Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Title : OT-ing..
Time : 5:52 PM  *i miss u la pantat.Hello ppl..! Here i am..OT-ing again. Bored. Sleepy. And did i mention that i have evaluation tonight at 9:55 pm? i did? |
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Title : Will u?
Time : 2:18 PM  Will you come and make peace?Aren't you tired of quarreling almost every single day? We can so lovey- dovey at one time and be so mean to each other the next. I hate it. I hate to say all those mean things to u. and i hate to hear them from u too.. I LOVE YOU DEAR. Don't you love me anymore? Or do u doubt mine? Like i said,isit soooo difficult for u to treat me nice? And for godsake please STOP thinking bout YOURSELF. Stop that egoistic bitching. It hurts. I LOVE YOU DEAR. I've nvr asked much from you and you know that too..but why so ego? Yes i hate you now. But i'm missing you too. Missing u alot. Will u come? I LOVE YOU DEAR. Will you try harder to change.? I LOVE YOU DEAR. I'm really tired. I don't want to let go.But u made me. And i did. Will u stop me? I LOVE YOU DEAR. **************************************** Will be having my evaluation again tonight. I know. I suck at this. Practice? Can't be bothered. Wish me luck! (Will you?) |
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Title : TuEsday blues??
Time : 9:22 AM Baik ar.. Pagi2 da nangis. I'm really hurt. ANd i need u badly. But u're not here. Infact..... NO ONE IS. |
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Monday, April 14, 2008
Title : Damn you all.
Time : 6:34 PM GO TO HELL!!! WHY NOT U JUST ROT!! JERK! Takde hati perut nye jantan! After all that i've done for u this is the " thanks" i get from u low life idiotic egoistic fucker.Yes u are a fucking stupid idiotic asshole!! Why did i even waste my fucking life & time with a fucking dumbass like u! Eh ku hilang kau ku tak rugi pe2 ar! *obviously im lying to myself* LOOK! If u're sick and tired of me tell me la bodoh! Jgn uat ku mcm ni! GOD knows what u've done behind me!And now i'm telling u this. I HATE U AND I'M SICK OF U. FUCK OFF.
AND I'M WALKING AWAY FROM U DEAR.
I'm too tired. I dunno how much longer i can take this. No one understand. in fact no one can. To those who knows my background,they would know how much i went thru. STILL..i'm going thru much more. And even they can't help me. Sometimes i realise that everything is turned to me. THEY BLAME ME FOR EVERYTHING. Some people are just so ungrateful. Instead of complaining or seeking attention. Be thankful of what you have. And if you are talking bout loneliness or fuck-up life. COME. TAKE A SLOW WALK IN MY LIFE. Family. Dad n mum divorced during my O' level period. If that is not sucky enough for me that i'm going the stress of having to manage and study alone not to forget having a boyfriend ( ex ) who's constantly beating me. To top of that. I had to work part-time in order to get my OWN pocket money. And the emotional pain. Plus all the fitnah about me lurking around the whole of Bukit Panjang - maybe the whole of S'pore. ( tsk tsk. these people really love to make me famous - not that I'm complaining ) And yes. i went thru this alone. You must be thinking. Don't you have an elder sibling? oh yes i do...an elder brother that is. Who thinks nothing but himself. i miss him pampering me tho. he's the only sibling i have. But he nvr fails to treat me like shit sometimes. No worries. I still love u abg. After everything was settled. Dad,abg & me were left homeless. We had to put up with uncles & aunties who eventually drove us out anyway. Dad did something that hurt me as his daughter. He "persuaded" my mom & my fucking asshole son of a bitch step dad to put us up till he finds a house for us. I could feel his pain. Oh bpk. Adk sayang bpk...! But you are given till May to find a house for us;when u promised DEC last year. And please,change for the better. The good bpk i know. You know what i mean. But now bpk is so busy working that he hardly have time for us. I MISS YOU LA BOTAK. i really do. I love u pak.. Mum always prioritise that asshole. Everything is "Om this.Om that"..Yup we call him OM. Ugly. Like him. Hate him for not respecting bpk. Fucking shithead. Too much drugs up there in the head i see. And like i said to u that night. "Kau pukul mak ku lagi ku pecah kan muka kau. " mcm phm. i know. Definitely i would call the Men in Blue to handle that dirty bugger.Wouldn't wanna get my hands dirty for such a lousy lowlife like him. Life now is tiring for me. Very tiring i tell ya. had to quit school halfway to work full-time. Man i swear that even tho i hate that course, I would have just went to school for the cert if not thanks to my " Dear Lovable family who DOESN'T give me any money for school or transportation" Haiz.. Boifee - read the first paragraph. I gotta go back to work. Will continue soon. If u're bored. FUCK OFF. |
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Title : N O N E
Time : 3:59 PM  trust me. this was my first tym wearing a mini skirt.i dun like.People! Wat do u normally do when u're bored? Sleep? Eat? Or mayb a meet-up with the peeps? Well as for me. ITS NOTHING.Yes.i'll do nothing. Mendak nye hidup!!!~~~~
SEE.basically there's nothing u can do in Singapore. Especially when u're broke or when u have no one to go out with. i know. its pathetic. Like seriously,i need a hobby;or mayb i should sign for sports ( although i would prefer a dance group or photography classes ). yeah. oh oh!! this is my first blog weeee~~~IM NOT EXCITED SO **** OFF. just wanna try out. hu noes i might get hooked. I'm at work actually and i have LOTS of work to do. But i'm so freaking lazy and sleepy..sue me but u cant blame me. I'm still feverish..( hell yeah i was on MC last thurs & fri and it was fucking boring i tell ya.) And i'm freaking pissed with this blog tingy. ya ya i know if im pissed why the hell do i have one rite? i just dunno how to work this thing. and i cant figure out even tho i've spent hours on this which means adding to my workload every second. Someone help me! |
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Title : Testing..
Time : 3:55 PM ...Testing 123...yeah.. I'm trying to fix this blog;activate it actually. *but i seriously have no idea how to.Just trying ,my luck here. |
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